Murakami never fails to draw me into the journey of the characters. Pulls me deep into a such melancholia just like he always delineates the characters in his books; lonely, socially awkward, prosaic and ordinarily ‘enough-nothing-more-nothing-less’ life. Yet, always, there are ways to make them into something more that turns plain into riveting just somewhere written between the lines.

I just started reading 1Q84, Murakami’s latest work (already read the first chapter online before the book released, it was on his Facebook page if you noticed) and still in somewhere where the characters still making hypothesis about the causes of obscure and eerie changes in their lives. The book is divided into three volumes and just like Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, there are two different stories about two different people - Aomame and Tengo - written alternately. For synopsis you may want to google it. 

And I love Tengo. Unusual name and the phrase ‘it takes two to tengo’ (what a bad pun!) crossed my mind all the time. I also love the papers’ softness it’s ridiculously a good kind and weirdly gave me comfort when I touch every single piece of them. Talking about my OCD.

1Q84. Q is for ‘question mark’, a world that bears a question.

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song by AIR - Talisman

just an old footage when I was in Sempu Island, Malang. Trying to get vintage tone and sorry for the shaky part, didn't bother to edit it. Taken with iPhone 4 and edited in After Effects and finalised in Premiere Pro.

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You're the reason for my laughter and my sorrow
Blow out the candle I will burn again tomorrow
No man on earth can stand between my lovin' arms
And no matter how you hurt me, I will love you till I die

I ain't no vision, I am the girl
Who loves you inside and out
Backwards and forwards with my heart hanging out
I love no other way
What are we gonna do if we lose that fire

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2011 was sort of a busy year for me. A lot of things I've learned, I found a dream job that I'm going to do in the future, I've met a lot of people from different walks of life - they come and go, some I left and some I keep.

Let's just moving forward, shall we?

Here are my resolutions. Just a few of them.

1. Graduate, get my adv. diploma.
2. Get a job.
3. Less procrastinate, pretty please.
4. Discover more aspects of life. (this really sound very, heavy.)
5. Love life. Be grateful for what I have right now.
6. Do what I love and fuck the rest.

So that is. A little less than the last 2 year ;) and I sound quite mature, no? Oh that reminds me that I'll be no longer a -teen this year. Ha. That's one of the big differences that's going to happen this year (besides the 21-12-2012, haha!).

Well, I expect less.

Anyway. Happy new year 2012, people.

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December it is, everyone. Two more weeks to christmas and I don't feel so christmas-y at all. I don't know why where's my christmas spirit! So anyway, here's one of my favourite christmas song. Hope you like it!

Happy December!

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There is nothing more fun than ranting in your own blog, saying that it’s not for a certain group of people when the fact it is. No, I’m not going to deny anymore because I thought it would be easier for them to receive the message, oh dear ignorant people. Wait. I guess they don’t even know that these...

Never mind. 

I wish I had more courage rather than just ranting in my blog, losing my sanity and the effort I put just go to waste. 

Maybe it’s just my egocentric that rules right now. Oh here it goes the part where I keep on blaming myself; self-destruction. 

And the world is still revolving because some of us really care on who’s to blame and who’s the selfish. Also some of us really are so fucking ignorant that they think they are so fucking right and the world revolves around themselves; and the leftover people are just being too fucking nice to have a lot of mercy to comprehend.

Major fuckness.

I wish I could be ignorant too. So I don’t have to rant these trashy thoughts of mine. Sanity, sanity.

No fuck was given.

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Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted. 

I wish I could just be more conscious than I am now. I fell in love and I'm high. My heart is broken and I'm messed up. Things I did were beyond chronic. Building a trust is never easy. You see. Sometimes I questioned myself, why do we tend to hurt the one that we love so much?

So I'm starting over. Everything. Turning over a new leaf, it is. (Still with the same feeling I have for a particular person, it's something I don't want to change. No. I'm not wrong to have such feeling. SHUT UP.) - sorry, a monologue.

I'm back to the girl I used to be when I first came back to this lovely city, alone, read a lot of books, watch a lot of movies, no friend... The girl I used to be. Realising that is so much fun and things I enjoy to do. Oh and fuck the rest.

Welcome back, sanctuary.

when you coming down think of me here,
I got no distance left to run.

12_No_Distance_Left_To_Run.m4a Listen on Posterous

dan semuanya belum berakhir.

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Semanggi Surabaya and Barbra Streisand by Chiquitaclarissa

First time mashing up songs for project's sake, ended up.. badly done. This was meant for fun.

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taken with iPhone 4 and rendered in Premiere Pro.

Have a grateful November, everyone.

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A few questions that I need to know
how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane
but I'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face or even on the phone
You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions
I have to find

My head's spinning
Boy, I'm in a daze
I feel isolated
Don't wanna communicate

I'll take a shower, I will scour
I will rub
To find peace of mind
The happy mind I once owned, yeah

Flexing vocabulary runs right through me
The alphabet runs right from A to Zed
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find

I'm not crazy
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong, no
I'm just waiting
'Cause I heard that this feeling
won't last that long

Never ever have I ever felt so low
When you gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad

Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I've Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel right

I'll keep searching
Deep within my soul
For all the answers
Don't wanna hurt no more

I need peace, got to feel at ease
Need to be.
Free from pain - going insane
My heart aches, yeah

Sometimes vocabulary runs through my head
The alphabet runs right from A to Zed
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find

I'm not crazy,
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong
I'm just waiting
'Cause I heard that this feeling won't last that long

Never ever have I ever felt so low
When ya gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad

Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I've Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel right x4

You can tell me to my face,
You can tell me on the phone,
Uh, You can write it in a letter, babe
'Cause I really need to know

You can write it in a letter, babe
You can write it in a letter, babe 

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Midnight in Paris is a genuinely fresh movie by Woody Allen, I would say, for us who craving for more surrealism and fantasy movies and this movie is one of them, premiered at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival.

Well long-story-short, the movie is about a guy named Gil (Owen Wilson), a Hollywood screenwriter having a vacation in Paris with his fiancee Inez (Rachel McAdams) and her parents. At one night Gil walks alone through the street of Paris and eventually becoming lost. Then, a vintage car stops in front of him with a group with 1920s style ask him to join them. He realises that he’s ‘traveling’ to 1920s, an era which he adores and believes that was the ‘golden age’.

The meetings with Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald and leads to Hemmingway, Pablo Picasso and his mistress Adriana (which then Gil fell in love with) and Gertrude Stein help much in his novel and eventually life. There’s also small appearance of Adrien Brody, which then reminds me of how amazing Wilson and Brody in The Darjeeling Limited. Not to forget Carla Bruni, she’s so pretty with her French-accented-English. So this movie is really enjoyable, with the yellowish-orangey tone of the movie it looks pretty vintage and also it’s Paris. And Paris in the 1920s? Come on!

Decisions making and our own idealism. Now what would you do if you could travel back to the era where you think that era was the ‘golden age’? Would you stay or would you choose the present? :)

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another experiment on after effects.

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02:12 am.
Poignant perfection. Infinity parched into a such pointless dust.

02:19 am.
Nothing but a lump of remorsefulness. I'm going to sleep, then.

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in the midst of tight deadlines. made of footages.

song : Reckless - Azari & lll

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